When Did You Realize?
by ArchRose
Summary: Shepard and Garrus always had a unique bond from the moment they met. Years later, they recount how they got to where they are today. Story takes place during ME3. FShep/Garrus pairing. Rated M, just in case!, for sexual innuendo.


No questions off the table.

They weren't sure why it began. The when wasn't an issue: 6 days after the Normandy left Omega the first time following Garrus' rocket to the face. He promised to answer all of Shepard's questions. She invited him to her cabin for a drink and they talked. Full disclosure, and it became a bi-weekly ritual. It surprised Garrus as first, hell both of them, at how much and how little they knew one another. But in that absence of knowledge was mutual respect. They had always shared a connection from the moment they teamed up all of those years ago, but these Q&A sessions grew deeper than that. Shepard just wanted clarity, maybe understanding on what had happened to everyone since she died, but didn't expect this to be more than a one-shot deal. Now they both craved these nights.

Garrus loosened his grip from Shepard's hand, dragging it across her body to her head and through her shoulder-length hair, kneeding the back of her head slowly. Her hand found a resting place along his hip spur. He could feel her body relax at his touch, as they lay entangled, naked, among each other on the bed in her quarters. The harsh blue glow of the aquarium the only source of light in the room, but engulfed Shepard's back giving her an angelic aura. He held her close in his arms.

"I nearly broke into a panic…" she whispered into the crook of his neck. Garrus responded with a low rumble in his chest and pulled her tightly into him. "I just found you, and you were going to be taken away from me."

He replayed that moment countless times in his head. A stupid mistake on his part put him in the line of fire of a gunship and a rocket tore off half his face. Garrus winced silently at the memory of the pain. Shepard had walked, well gunned would be more accurate, back into his life and there he was, lying on the ground in a pool of his blood fading away from the reality in front of him and believing it was a dream. Until he smelled her scent looming over him; the touch of her hands as she cradled his head to bring him back to his senses. She was alive, right there with him, and nothing would stop him from dying.

Shepard asked him about his most painful experience, and Omega was it. Not just physically but mentally, struggling with his body to stay awake and alive to be there for Shepard. The scars on his face have faded a bit since then, but the memory will always remain.

The pounding of metal against his teeth.

The heat melting across his face.

His vision enveloped in white.

The crackle of his visor eroding from his ear.

The hiss and whine of his armor shattering around him.

Her voice…

He was an idiot. She expressed herself so clearly back then about her intent. She called his name not as a soldier or a friend, but something more.

Garrus felt his grip squeeze around the woman lying next to him. Her muscles tensed and he pulled away ever so slightly to ease the talons in her flesh. "Sorry," he murmured as he rolled his head away.

Shepard quickly raised her hand from his hip and to his face to pull him back to look at her. "Don't be." She held a command in her voice without sounding too authoritative. Her eyes were still soft and showed no pain. "You didn't hurt me."

"Do you…ever worry that I will?"

Garrus felt his sub vocals tremble at the question. He was amazed at himself for asking it because he knew the answer. Some part of his brain, or maybe sanity, just wanted confirmation.

"No."

She didn't have to think about it for a second. Her answer was quick, with the same tone of voice.

"I trust you. I know you would never hurt me, even when I push you."

Garrus shifted his body to press his forehead against hers. "Shepard…"

"And one day you'll feel comfortable enough with me to let go of that worry." She continued to stroke his mandible slowly with her hand as she spoke. "And it'll be the best sex we've ever had."

He chuckled, nuzzling his brow plates against the bridge of her nose. "The best, huh? I should…probably start working on that."

Shepard pecked his exposed mandible with her lips before settling back into his arms. "My turn. What features make you attracted to me?" She said it so calm and smoothly that he seemed taken aback. It wasn't a question of why he was interested or how, but specifically what about Shepard made him need her.

"Hmmm…" was his only response followed by the dull humming of the room for several minutes. Shepard was about to speak when he started again. "Your eyes drew me in. You have a power, a look that you give to me and only me." It was her turn to chuckle.

"There's always a hitch in your breath when I look at you."

"Huh. I didn't think you notice."

"I felt it once." She smiled into his neck and he responded by taking her hair into his fingers, letting their silky form slip through.

"And then it was your scent. Kasumi said I described it like cherry blossoms, she called it."

"Kasumi?"

"Mmm. I drank a little bit one night. She asked me. And I described your scent."

Shepard kissed against the exposed skin of his neck. "If I weren't so adept on Turian customs and culture, I might be offended that you like my smell." She pressed her lips firmly against his neck, letting a low purr emit from his chest before she pulled back.

"And your spirit," he continued trying to subdue the awkward feeling bubbling in his stomach. "I've never met anyone like you. You are…everything that I had ever wanted in a mate, and nothing like I expected."

"Garrus" she cooed. "You can be quite a charmer."

"I have my moments." He allowed his voice to trail off as he continued to stroke her hair. He finally understood the fascination other species had for human hair. It was purely aesthetic and held no biological value. Shepard had told him that hair was actually dead. And yet, it gave her personality. It showed her powerful, strong, determined side as well as her playful nature.

"And my hair," she murmured into his neck. "Or filamentous biomaterial that serves a cultural and vane purpose, if you want to be clinical."

He tasseled another lock between his fingers. "And dirty. But it's part of your personality."

"Mmm."

Garrus continued to pet her hair as the silence took over. His talons twisting in it while his other arm stroked slowly along her back. Their position felt right, even if it was awkward for a Turian. Their cultural stance on intimacy was very blunt, if a term needs to be placed on it. Sex was not about emotions; just physical contact needed to appease primal instincts. Even bonding with a mate was for procreation purposes. Turians felt the emotional connection in simple actions, the "Turian Head Bump" as Shepard called it. Any sex or bonding was simply a physical release. There was never any type of contact beyond the act itself. Even the idea of foreplay was odd.

But this thing that he had with Shepard transcended beyond his Turian facade. After their first time together, all he wanted to do was embrace her and maintain the connection they had created. To be engulfed in her scent, even with the Collector base on the horizon and knowing that they were needed to lead (and he wanted to follow-through), he would have given anything just to stay with her. It didn't help curb his passion when Shepard said she understood if he wanted to leave the bed after their first coupling. She accepted the way his people worked and wouldn't be offended by it; she knew that it was more than just sex for both of them. His desire for her grew more.

His brain began to wander as his hand along her back began moving at a crawl. The signs seemed so obvious now: when Shepard started to show interest in him as more than a friend and comrade. But back then he didn't know. Garrus isn't into humans. They were soft, pliable, with too few angles and much bigger egos then any species he ever encountered. He tolerated them in C-Sec and grew to understand and respect some of them when he was on the first Normandy. That was mostly because of Shepard; she was unlike any human he had ever met.

The clarity and sharpness of her green eyes was the first thing he was latched on to back when they first met on the Citadel. They reminded him of a rare plant that grew on Palaven that only blossomed once every few years. Its colors were vibrant, but it had a green core that shimmered for months until the weather turned and its petals fell. Coupled with her stance, her voice, the fire burning in her…she treated him as an equal at first sight. Nothing like other humans…

He should have seen the signs.

They lost so much time they could have had together because of his ignorance. There wasn't a day where Garrus wasn't beating himself up for it, mostly subconsciously. Shepard always favored him over the rest of the crew. She would always see him first after a mission to get his feedback. She would always bring him along to damn near everything. He was angry at first when he wasn't with her to pick up Mordin, but her reasoning was solid: '_You nearly lost half of your face and we're going into a contagious zone where only Humans are immune.' _He let that one slide. She did everything in her power to help him whenever he needed it more-so then anyone else in her crew. She never complained, and neither did he. Why didn't he see it before…

Shepard stirred slightly against him, running her fingers casually across the flesh between his chest plates. She was so calm, peaceful even as her body fell into his touch.

"Your turn," she murmured.

Garrus bent his head forward again to nuzzle against the top of her head. "I thought you were asleep."

"Enjoying the peace…the feeling of being with you while I can." She tried to speak without apprehension, but her words clung with tension. Their bedroom rule became to not talk about the Reapers. Shepard's words were as close to a discussion as they would ever allow themselves in that setting.

He planted a small kiss on her head with his rough lip plates. His brain wanted to pick a question that would lighten the mood, but his mouth began to speak before it could catch up. "When did you realize that you were interested in me?" His previous thoughts were still controlling him.

Garrus could feel her heart skip a beat and her body suddenly felt warm. She was blushing. He chuckled briefly as he pulled his head away to look down at her. He always enjoyed the fact that he could do that to her; no one else could make the Commander pink with embarrassment.

Shepard cleared her throat briefly; her fingers were delicately continuing their dance across his chest plates. "Do you…remember that mission before Virmire?"

Of course he did. It was hard to forget the mission before and the mission after. Virmire left a scar on everyone's conscious. Before that, they were clearing out a Cerberus facility gone amuck with the help of some Batarian slavers and a slap-and-dash collection of Blood Pack. Why the two worked together was beyond all sensible logic. Alenko led a team with Tali and Wrex to break in and do some damage. Shepard and Garrus camped the base from a grassy ridge overlooking the place, taking potshots at anyone trying to leave the party. He couldn't remember the name of the planet or why the hell they were there, but he could almost smell her scent mixed with the grass and wind that day.

"Two and a half hours since our last kill, and the comm. chatter from the other team made it obvious that they wouldn't be done anytime soon. At one point someone was smart and built a basement." Shepard rolled her fingers between the center of his chest before tracing them down to his abdomen. "I didn't pay attention. My body was putting too much weight on my right arm with the way I was lying prone and it began to go numb."

_She carefully removed her right hand from her sniper rifle, a 3__rd__ generation Mantis, and balled it into a fist. Garrus could hear the soft grunt of tension and pain from her voice. Keeping his eyes focused on the base and his hand on the trigger, he instinctively took his left hand, pulled the glove off with his teeth, and tenderly grabbed hers. He tugged off her glove, letting it fall right to the ground, and began to massage the tendons._

_It was in a swift motion before she had a chance to comprehend what was happening. Shepard had to use all of her willpower to hide the blush growing across her face. But he could feel the heat rising from her hand and her pulse quickening. _

"You caught me off guard," she continued. "It was the first time you hands were exposed. You told me before that you kept them covered so humans would be more at ease around you. The talons tended to scare them off at C-Sec. But you felt comfortable enough with me to show them."

"_Where did you learn how to do that?" Shepard's eyes were transfixed on their hands. The rough, leathery pads of his fingertips eased gently over her knuckles and to her palm as they massaged the stress of her weight away._

"_Military," he answered in a low hum. "My CO taught us. Cramping in this position happens too often." His digits worked meticulously into her palm. The numbness had faded and her hand felt lighter. "I read that our species hands were similar."_

"_Give or take a few fingers."_

"_Mmm." And they went silent. Garrus continued to work her hand, turning it over and back again to massage every centimeter of it. Even so far as her wrist, there was a trust there that they never spoke. He had to have known that it was a weak point for human's. Strong hands, flimsy wrists. Easy to twist and knock a weapon out of the way, and he was gentle with it. His touch was ginger, delicate, but still powerful enough to work the numbing pain away. _

_Their contact lasted for a few minutes. The moment that he felt her hand come back to life, he removed his own, picked up his glove from the ground, gnawed gently on it with his teeth, and slipped it back in and down to its resting position on his rifle. Shepard mimicked his actions, albeit with less style and grace. Her gaze lingered on the Turian for another moment. "Thank you," she responded in a breathless whisper. He hummed his response though his sub vocals as they both returned to their post of sniping off the stragglers._

Shepard tilted her head upwards to catch his gaze. "That was the first time I had been distracted on the field." She reached her free hand up to caress the unscarred side of his face. "All I wanted to know was how your hands would feel on my body." Shepard smiled an impish grin before diving back into his neck and leaving strokes of kisses along the way.

Garrus let out a purring noise, emitting from his core. "Sorry…"

Shepard stopped moving her lips. She pulled her head back up to meet his blue eyes. Her own still holding strength, but a tinge of concern behind them. "For what?"

He stopped stroking her back to let his focus remain on her eyes. "Not seeing this sooner." The hand in her hair also stopped moving and slid comfortably to hold the back of her head. "I should have been more…receptive."

"Garrus." She ran her thumb across his face, tracing it down along his mandibles. "Cultural differences. I didn't know that my flirting was so subtle. You needed direct. Or I needed to exude a hell of a lot of pheromones." Her eyes softened as her lips began to form a slight smile. "Honestly? I thought you would have noticed how aggressive I was during our shooting match with Tali."

_Tali stood at the edge of the bridge of the docking bay next to the Normandy SR-1, her arms crossed as she tapped her right foot. Garrus was leaning against a stack of crates while he polished his rifle. Shepard was late. By 20 minutes. She suggested to Team Dextro that they should celebrate their recent victory over Saren and Sovereign by having a friendly contest: a shoot out._

_As if on cue, Garrus tapping on his Omni-tool to open up a comm. channel, Shepard jogged down the walkway. Her feet made a different sound. It wasn't the clomping of combat boots, but clicking, the same noise that Asari shoes made when they wore heels. Shepard wasn't in her uniform. Her nearly black hair hung down just above her shoulders. She wore a dark blue dress, thick straps at the shoulders, a short and boxy neckline. It stopped and flared at the knee. It wasn't fancy, but it fit her perfectly and hugged her curves, accentuating her waist. _

_Tali and Garrus commented on the dress, mostly wondering how she could tolerate it and if it would hamper her aim. Shepard brushed it off. A forced Alliance engagement now that she was the poster girl, but she could still hold a gun just as if she were in her fatigues._

_They bantered, threw around corny insults, and gave Tali a few lessons on why the sniper rifle will always win over a shotgun. They were having fun for the first time in a long while; all of them. _

_Somewhere after a few rounds in Tali asked if Shepard had a relationship with Kaiden, if that's why he was saved on Virmire. It threw her for a loop; Shepard's aim was off-sight by a slip. She still hit the white disc floating in the air, but Garrus caught her reaction. He took it as a yes. But Shepard just eyed Tali and started laughing. _

"_Is that what everyone thinks? Are you interested in him?"_

"_What? No! No!" Her voice modulator seemed to go up a few octaves. "I'm just…curious about human courtships. It's not something we really…"_

"_Tali. You're digging the hole even deeper."_

"_Making it worse," Garrus clarified before Tali could speak._

_Shepard continued to laugh, mostly to herself but letting a chuckle escape between her sentences. "The short answer is no, no involvement with Kaiden. The long answer is he's too much absorbed in the idea of Commander Shepard, the hero, and his problems that he will never get past all of that." She motioned for Tali to pick up another disc while she leaned down to pick up the shotgun._

"_Insightful," Garrus responded, his mandibles tight to his face._

"_Sometimes," Shepard retorted as she popped the casing to add in newest of blank cartridges. Garrus leaned back against the stack of crates again. He seemed passive about the conversation, but maintained focus on how she handled the gun. Her fingers expertly and quickly lined up the fresh ammo in a matter of seconds: what would have taken a trained solder at least 15 seconds she could do in 5._

"_So then, what qualities would you want in a companion?" Tali piped up again._

"_Are you offering yourself Tali? We 'do' have a few things in common."_

_Tali backpedaled faster then she could think. The words pouring out of her mouth before her brain could catch up to it. Even Garrus had to be amused at the turn of events. _

_Shepard opened up her stance towards Garrus, spreading her legs wide, or at least as wide as the dress would allow her. "I like a man who isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in." She raised the shotgun with her right arm to shoulder level, while her left arm hung at her side. "He's willing to challenge authority and get his ass kicked around to do the right thing." She nodded her head for Tali to throw, and in a flash the shotgun went off and the disc exploded into fragments. Still only favoring her right side, she re-cocked the gun and held her stance. "But, he's not ashamed to admit when he's wrong or when he crosses a line." Another nod. Another disc. Another crack, Another flurry of fragments. Another gun cock. "He treats me as an equal. Doesn't place me on a pedestal and worship the ground I walk on." A sly smile crosses her lips as she whispers to herself. 'Except maybe in the bedroom.' Shepard is pretty sure they didn't hear it. Garrus didn't flinch; that was usually her sign._

_Shepard lowered the shotgun as she continued to gaze off into the lights of the Citadel sky-space. "Mostly, he has to be my best friend. Always watching my back. Who I trust without any hesitation so I can be myself."_

Garrus dropped his hand from her head, wrapping it around her back, and pulled Shepard into his body. "I'm an idiot," he hummed in a low voice.

"Garrus, look at me." Her voice was stern but compassionate. He had to turn his head uncomfortably down to meet her gaze. He knew that tone well and didn't want to upset her anymore then he possibly could. Shepard drew a breath as she laced her hands behind his neck. "We can't change what's happened, and as much as I wanted you back then, I wouldn't give up the moments we shared as friends." She smiled. "What matters is we have each other now. So please, don't beat yourself up over it." That wicked smile of hers grew across her lips. "Or, I can beat you up instead."

He leaned in as best as he could to kiss her lips. His rough tongue parting them as she pressed upwards to meet him halfway. "I'll take that as a yes," she managed to breathe out before Garrus tucked her in and rolled onto his back, with Shepard on top. He shifted his legs to allow her to straddle his hips as his hands began to lazily drift down her back.

"Something like that," he responded between their kisses. She could already feel the heat in his abdomen swell. He was so easy to turn-on when she was in control. Her hands slid up from the back of his neck to the underside of his fringe, curling and dragging her nails into them until he emitted a sigh of enjoyment.

"So," she began coyly. "When did you realize you were 'interested'?" She added the last word with inflection to mimic his tone.

'_Was she playing a game?'_

_Garrus tried to act casual and disinterested as he looked out at the Citadel as Tali kept prompting Shepard to divulge her romantic interests. He couldn't lie to himself that he was relieved that she didn't pick Kaiden as a mate. She could do better. But then she started showing off her skills. The way she moved with the shotgun to cock and reload, with one hand, no hesitation. Her stance was powerful and dominant. But her dress was hugging her hips…Garrus never knew how defined her waist was. And the things she was saying about standing up for what's right, challenging authority, and he's pretty sure she mentioned something about being worshipped in the bedroom?_

_It had to be a joke. She did it before in the Mako a month prior after he requested to take the driver's seat, only to promptly bump it into a mountain and scratch up his new paint job. She made a lude joke about his ability to handle a woman and she laughed. He never heard her laugh like that; it was almost worth it to put a dent in the vehicle._

_And then she became serious. Her face hopeful as she looked out into the sea of lights and talked about a best friend, needing someone where trust was everything. He felt a lump in his throat as she shot off one last round. The scent, her scent, a faint sweetness enveloped with a soft and mild piquant floral taste, sailing in the artificial wind with the hint of metal and gun residue from their target practice. As she returned to her normal stance, legs slightly apart, right hip cocked, arms crossed, the breeze caused the bottom of her dress to tussle against her body. He could see the appeal human's had for her, but most men would probably try to dominate it. Shepard would never be controlled. She needed to be free. She needed someone to trust, to be at her side, to help her as more than a friend or mate, but as a partner. An equal. Garrus felt for a moment that he could give her all of that, and the look in her eyes when she turned to face him made him believe that she was listening to his thoughts._

'_She's just playing with me.'_

_Somewhere along the way, they continued to shoot their targets before Tali conceded victory but still claimed the best rating for a shotgun blast to a plate. Tali gave Garrus his well-wishes. He was leaving the Normandy and his Commander for Spectre training._

'_His Commander…'_

_And then they were alone for a few minutes, exchanging rifle shots and friendly banter. They were back into their old habits. And then suddenly she stopped. Shepard walked over, placed a hand on top of his, her other holding the rifle. Her eyes pierced into his, that look that became her signature meant for him and only him._

"_There will always be a place for you on the Normandy. Thank you for being my friend."_

_His mind stuttered. He couldn't comprehend what was happening and felt an overwhelming need to caress her face with his bare hands._

_Instead he nodded, withholding this rush of emotion that had unexpectedly come from him. _

_She released her hand._

_He gave the equivalent of a smile._

_She held the rifle and walked away._

_For the first time in his life, he felt hollow. He wanted to be a Spectre to prove to himself that he could do it and set justice on the right path. But now, he felt he had made the worse decision by staying behind as the Normandy prepared to depart._

"…you've been flirting with me ever since Omega, haven't you?"

Again she didn't wait for his response because she knew the answer. Instead she licked and nibbled along his scarred mandible before sighing heavily. "We're both idiots."

Garrus' hands were caressing and holding Shepard at her waist as he kept his gaze on her face. "Yep." He lifted his head forward to nudge his forehead with hers. He made a purring noise to indicate his playfulness. "Maybe…we can call this a fight. We admit that we're not perceptive, and get to make-up sex?"

Shepard quirked her eyebrows, but still kept her attention at his jaw. "I don't know who told you about make-up sex, but that sounds like a fantastic idea." She ran her hands quickly to her hips where Garrus held her, gripping his wrists and thrusting his arms to the side as she pushed herself up to give him a predatory glare. "I'll need to thank them later."

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Thank you for reading and your wonderful comments! I have another, much longer story, in the works to stay tuned.


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